Thanksgiving

I must admit that I am kinda sad about the lack of Thanksgiving. I heard everyone talk about going home and what not and I miss having that. Not that I would want to go home but I would definately be able to find some sort of awesome Thanksgiving activity. My Thanksgiving is 9 hrs of being at school. How awesome is that? This is the first time that I have really missed home. I don't have Thanksgiving, in any way. It makes me sad.

I am on a roll!

Why not keep up my passive aggressive rants on this thing. I believe Phil is the only one who reads this with the exception of those lucky ducks who click on "next blog".

Upon a certain chat with a certain person yesterday I became rather annoyed. What a surprise, Maria was annoyed. I like that I have an Atlantic Ocean's worth of distance between me and home but people still want to drag me into their shit. I thought, after this shitty shitty summer, we decided through our actions, that this pathetic rouse of a friendship. I by no means hate the people from home. There just doesn't seem to be a connection with most of them anymore. It sucks but such is the process of life. So when people come to bitch to me about their problems and then don't listen to a damn word I say in regard to their problem or only talk to me to brag about some asinine event that you think makes you "cool" and I think makes you even more lame.

When you are only using our friendship to your advantage, when you only IM me when it is convenient with some "really awesome" story, I question your definition of friendship. Friendship aren't convenient. It has gotten to this point when I do not give a flying fuck. I don't. Perhaps I am a horrible person, perhaps I could put forth more of an effort. Eh...I have tried enough and just don't care anymore. But somehow, even being thousands of miles away, I still get sucked in to this crap. Awesome.

In other news I am going to see Morrissey tonight and that rocks my socks.

EXPOSE!!!!!!!!!

Crazy, when you stop stressing about it (aka dick around on the internet for an hour) you discover the obvious way of dividing your expose into the two necessary parts! Go me. This makes me feel MUCH better so this weekend will be writing out all everything so jackass French professor #90 billion does completely rip me a new one. I know he is going to hate whatever I say but if I can at least not sound like a complete dumbass I will be content. With that I bid you adieu.

One More Time For Good Measure

Get the fuck over yourself.

The Summer

Last night Chris and I were chatting about home and whatnot and he said that he wanted to go home and I told him that I had no desire whatsoever to go back right now. He said that he didn't believe it. The only person I really miss is Phil and I have Chris in the same time zone so we talk all the time. Really though, there isn't much of me, if any, that wishes I were in the states right now. I told Chris that because my summer was so horrible I promised myself I was going to go away and not look back. He asked if I have looked back at all and I said, "no, not really."

This past summer was horrible for me. I was thinking about this last night. I was miserable all summer long. I cried so much. I wasn't the person I really am. I was this sad, depressed, mopey person who people didn't want to be around and I really didn't want to be around anyone. Part of me not looking back is due to the relationships I lost this summer. Some of the people I was closest to for years I rarely, if ever, talk to anymore. That was really hard for me this summer. I came home for the summer with the intention of having a good summer and seeing high school people on a regular basis. This didn't not happen. Whether it was because I was blown off directly or schedules didn't match up I rarely saw people. I honestly think I spent more time with Phil, who I saw 3 times this summer than I saw most people who lived in the same state as me. Kinda sad. Really frustrating. By the end of the summer I just didn't give a shit anymore. I was sick of calling and no one calling me back. I was sick of always making the effort. Fuck that. Friendship doesn't work like that. I guess that is the end of that, then. I don't know. Regardless it helped add to the shittiness of the summer. A LOT.

Then there is the whole shitty family situation. This situation was basically "lets make Maria the scapegoat for everything." Sorry for fucking leaving crumbs on the counter. Get the fuck over it. Not that big of a deal. Don't tell me I can sit in a room of my house anymore. Don't make ridiculous rules and then try and make it seem like Dad was in on it. I am the only person in my house with a college education (not that going to college makes me superior to everyone in my house) and I have lived with my dad for 20 years. I know he would never think of such a fucking ridiculous plan as grounding me from the internet. He actually later admitted he thought is was stupid as well. No one likes your thought processes Donna, not even your husband. I realize that I can be hard to be around at times. Then with the above noted crap with friends and social life I become that much less pleasant. I definitely didn't do anything to warrant Donna threatening to leave. Lord knows where Donna's dissatisfaction came from. Look at your own fucking son for a moment. I look like a fucking angel in comparison. I really did not get along with my family at all.

The only thing that kept me from up and leaving this summer was knowing I was going to Paris. Yeah Paris sucks sometimes but I think back to how genuinely miserable I was this summer and I just think of how happy I am now. I got to Paris and it is everything I wanted it to be. No one helped me get here. Fuck if Dad did more than give me crap about money. I found the program, I talked to advisors, I filled out applications, I got my own ass to France and I am damn happy about it. I guess this is why I don't look back. I look forward to next year and know it will be great living with Chris and Nicole (and maybe Pat). But I worked so damn hard to get to Paris, I am going to relish in every moment of it.

Oh Paris

There are moments when I am just sick of this place. Getting my year round metro pass sent back to me for the second time causes me to have such sentiments. I gave you everything you wanted! This time I had Judith look over everything and make sure it was okay. She said it was. It is just so annoying as it costs A LOT to have to buy a monthly pass every month. Then you think about the exchange rate reaching $1.30 and I just want to vomit. That and I don't have much to do here. I know I know. Cry cry, Maria is in Paris and she is bored. Well one, I only have class two days a week. One of these days of class was cancelled due to Armistice Day tomorrow so that leaves me with a six day weekend and not a lot to do with it. Plus the weather is crappy so you don't really want to be outside. I have work to do as well I just don't feel inspired to actually do it. However there is going to be a meatloaf party Friday. Oh yeah.

For the love of fucking Mike

Ok...just read an article saying Texas is going to change it's textbooks to properly define that marrige is between and man and a woman. No one is online so there for I rant here. How fucking stupid is that? Why is this homosexual issue even an issue? Honnestly? Why should one who loves someone who has the same sexual reproductive organs not be allowed to have the same rights? They aren't a menace to society. You can't "catch it" from being around them. Just let them be. You people want to amend the constitution to prevent people from having equal rights. I cannot wrap my head around that idea because it is just that effing ludacrous. Seriously, are you scared your property value is going to go down if a nice lesbian couple moves next store? And don't fucking talk to me about the sanctity of marrige. How marriage hetro marriages go down the crapper? Oh yeah, over half. Clearly us hetros could give a flying fucking about the institution of marriage. What is the big deal if we let the fags get married to? Hey people! It is not 1960. We have this thing called equal rights. Our country, in theory, isn't a theocracy. So suck it the fuck up and be nice to the fags. You fucking ignorant assholes.

Oh the hypocrisy

Ok...I have been in a ranting mood as of late so lets just make it a passive aggressive rant. I think I have done this before in this blog but here we go again...

All I can say is, "whaaaaa?" Honestly, that is all. People boggle my mind sometimes in how fucking ridiculous they can be sometimes. Don't mock me for something I did in the past for something you proceed to do today. Don't make like everything you do is so fucking great and amazing and forget to ask about how your friend is doing. I am just through with it and I think this is me just finally reaching that point.

Also, what is with the man getting re-elected who wants to tell me what I can and can't do with my vagina and who I can and can't marry? Yeah, bullshit.